Parents of children with special needs are frequently challenged by friends, relatives, acquaintances, social and other media. Sometimes, it is well-meaning advice, but there are comments that can be especially thoughtless, or even unkind.

Here are the most outstanding remarks that families have experienced, and their answers (or thoughts), mostly delivered with grace and love:

10. Polar white littleGod only gives us what we can handle.

Polar Black littleWe have no choice but to carry on. Should that make us feel better?

9. Polar white littleWhat is your autistic child’s special talent?

Polar Black littleIs that because, if you’re autistic, you must have one?

8. Polar white littleWe don’t want to get him that same gift every year… what else can we give?

Polar Black littleHow about, what he really likes, not what makes you feel better?

Polar white little7. You’re wrong, ignorant, and/or misinformed. Childhood vaccinations have been proven safe.

Polar Black littleNot for our child. Not for all children. And, I’ll bet you wouldn’t say that if your child had ASD.

Polar white little6. That gluten free- casein free, specific carbohydrate, paleo, etc. diet is stupid.

Polar Black littleYou didn’t ask if it worked.

Polar white little5. Did you see Rain Man?

Polar Black littleIs that how you think the child will grow up? That was last century.

Polar white little4. Is your child high functioning?

Polar Black littleIs yours?

Polar white little3. We don’t want to invite your child to the birthday party… we don’t think that he will fit in.

Polar Black littleWho is uncomfortable, the parents or kids? Could you be any crueler?

Polar white little2. I heard it’s not really an epidemic, we just called it ‘retardation’ in the past.

Polar Black littleA condition whose prevalence rises from less than 1/2,500 to 1/68 in a few decades is an epidemic.

Polar white little1. Can’t you handle your (misbehaving) child?

Polar Black littleHe’s autistic, you #*$%&$][ ! (That’s in the thought bubble).

Life is not black or white. Neurodiversity is here. As we understand this phenomenon called ASD, we learn about how all of our brains work.

In the meantime, let’s become more educated
and kind to each other.

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